Monthly Archives: November 2009

5 Things Not To Do If You’re Lonely.

By vanessa | Published: November 27, 2009

1. Call an ex. Speaking to your ex will only make your current singledom all the more unbearable, and if you’re foolish enough to meet up bad things could happen. Worse than sex things. Like telling him how lonely you are, how much you miss him, or that you think you’re (still) in love with [...]

Posted in Advice, Not So Sexy Times | 1 Comment

Is This It?

By vanessa | Published: November 23, 2009

While on the bus to work a couple of days ago I sat near two old ladies. They were discussing the reasons women were marrying later and later, and sometimes not at all. It was, they reasoned, because women were too picky. Back in their day (I have no idea how old they were, but [...]

Posted in Meeting People, Relationships | 2 Comments

Top 5 Songs For a Broken Heart.

By vanessa | Published: November 20, 2009

5. Thieves Like Us – Your Heart Feels This song is best listened to mid-way through the broken heart process: you’ve moved on long enough not to sniff things they gave you and weep, but not enough to talk to them without wanting to pee. It’s a bit like a 2000s The Rat, but about [...]

Posted in Advice, Relationships | 1 Comment

STI of The Month – Crabs!

By vanessa | Published: November 19, 2009

Ever since I can remember I have been scared of fish, molluscs, sponges, and basically anything that lives in the sea. I am also scared of people who have really wiry beards. While we’re not here to talk about all my many and varied phobias (rapid motion photography, being touched by a stranger’s hair, photos [...]

Posted in STIs | 2 Comments

Choose Your Own Adventure.

By vanessa | Published: November 16, 2009

When I was a teenager I thought I wanted fast cars, fast people, bright lights and the big city. My life was so mundane that I wanted someone to come and sweep me away into a new one. So I waited patiently for someone to spin my world around but they didn’t come. My brain [...]

Posted in Meeting People, Relationships | 5 Comments

Three is NOT The Magic Number.

By vanessa | Published: November 13, 2009

Reading Platform’s piece on one guy’s distinctly unsavoury experiences with threesomes got me thinking about how shitty threesomes are. Logistically they’re a total nightmare: who has the time and resources to arrange one with three sane flexible people? And once you’re in the swing of it who’s going to be the facilitator making sure everyone’s having [...]

Posted in Not So Sexy Times, Sexy Times | 3 Comments

The Rules vs Teh Rulez.

By vanessa | Published: November 12, 2009

When looking for books to review I realised that The Rules, a seminal moment in dating book history, had passed me by. Initially I was reluctant to spend my hard earned cash on what I guessed (rightly) was a misogynistic piece of crap and then I discovered Book Mooch. Now, due to the generosity of some wonderful women, [...]

Posted in Advice, Book Reviews | 4 Comments

Say It Ain’t So.

By vanessa | Published: November 9, 2009

During London Fashion Week there are only two things to do: work like a donkey and drink to celebrate no longer working like a donkey. Though my involvement in LFW has, until recently, been fairly minimal I can’t refuse a party with free booze and so it was at one of these strange sleep deprived [...]

Posted in Dates, Not So Sexy Times | Leave a comment

Why Am I Still Single?

By vanessa | Published: November 7, 2009

Once, at my parents’ annual New Year’s Day party, a friend of the family asked why I was still single. Though the first thing I wanted to say was “Why are you still such a nosy bitch?” but instead I smiled politely and said I hadn’t met the right person. As I turned to get [...]

Posted in Meeting People | 2 Comments

5 Infallible Pieces of Advice.

By vanessa | Published: November 4, 2009

1. Always wear a condom. Like duh. Duh duh and OHMYGOD DUH. There are so many freaking things that can infect, inhabit, and eat away at your genitals that it’s just not worth taking a chance. Also, if you get a scary sore on your genitals go get it checked! Alexi Wasser’s awesome blog reminded me [...]

Posted in Advice, Dates, Relationships, STIs | 4 Comments