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There are times when we all get down. We think that we’re not good enough to date, or there must be some reason why we’re still single. Those of us in less than perfect relationships wonder if we should accept the way things are and keep going on because most of the rest of the stuff is kind of ok. Our friends enable our shitty thoughts in well meaning ways, they say that if we dressed different or changed our behaviour then maybe things would be work out.

To which I say: FUCK THAT.

You are amazing. You are a beautiful, brillant, scintillating person. You are dazzling, your observations are always pithy, you leave a stunning impression on almost everyone you meet. Sometimes you get miserable, sometimes you say mean stuff, but deep down, right at the centre of it all, you’re a good person and you have that to fall back on. You aren’t racist, homophobic, misyogynistic, or bigoted. You care about other people. You want them to do well and enjoy life. You look back on the people you’ve dated and think about how each of them brought something to your life, instead of taking something away. You think about the person you were five years ago and wonder how on earth that nut-job could have become the functioning adult you are today.

You think about the people who crushed out on you, the ones who messaged you even when you told them to bugger off. While that was a little creepy sometimes you revel in the idea that you inspired such devotion from someone. You made a budding stalker out of them. Hm, ok, that’s a lot more creepy. Maybe we won’t think about that at all.

Anyway, you ARE nice, you are beautiful, and you are worth dating. You are worth being with, you are worth being called girlfriend, boyfriend, snuggle lumpkin, whatever the fuck it is you lot like calling each other. You are worth holding hands with in public. You are worth being called just to say ‘I Love You’. You are allowed to get annoyed when you have that song stuck in your head all day afterwards. You are worth going half way across the city on a rainy night to give soup to when you’re sick. You are worth stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something scary for: like visiting parents together, or moving in with.

You deserve to be loved. To be made number 1 in someone else’s life. To be the central character in your own story. You are worth calling in sick to work for. You are all the beautiful people you envy on a daily basis.You are all this and so much more.

So stop accepting shitty relationships! Stop chasing someone who has no interest in you! Stop trying to make your girlfriend love you when it won’t happen! Because somewhere out there is someone who is all you ever wanted and more and they want to be the person you love and who loves you.

Photo: William Eggleston