Nightmares & Boners » HBIC

HBIC In the Snow

vanessa — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 11:40:34 +0000

Ok I lied about the snow, but we’re in the slush so it seemed appropriate. Anyways, I know you’re not here for my waffling- you’re here for the beauty and wonder of celeb couples! Let’s do this!

Guillaume Canet and Marion Cottilard at the Marrakech Film Festival
I’d like Marion to know that I’ve had dibs on Guillaume since I met him in Thailand while he was filming The Beach. Fifteen year old me was totally smitten and stared at him when I was supposed to be reading on my sunlounger and so this obviously proves Marion needs to get back in line. Right?

Lydia Hearst and Jeff Goldblum leaving Mr Chow
This is just an excuse to tell you that once Lydia Hearst superglued her feet to some shoes that were too big. That is all.

Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman at the premiere for Rabbit Hole
Much like Drew Barrymore and Justin Long, I prefer Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban as a unit much more than I like either of them separately. Having said that I love Drew Barrymore and can’t stand Nicole Kidman. I’m not sure what point I’m trying to make here, I’m just going to cut my losses and leave you to look at this picture.

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal in Brooklyn
Whatever kind of fuckery this is I want it to end. I mean look at it! It’s so wrong on so many fucking levels. God just break up already, write the obligatory “I’m just a sad little girl and you broke my heart you big mean man” song and GET IT OVER WITH.

Photos from Just Jared, Lainey Gossip, ONTD, and US Magazine.

HBIC: Stranger Than Fiction?

vanessa — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 13:21:45 +0000

While last week we looked back at the past this time we look sideways in reality and at what could be, rather than what is.

Arthur Dent and Trillian (Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy)
So they don’t make sweet sweet music in the film, and their relationship in the books is more complicated than a tax return form, Arthur and Trillian deserve to be up there in the totally sweet couple hall of fame. Maybe Zooey has melted my brain but I love the idea of a bubbly, beautiful astrophysicist flying through the universe and hand in hand with a man in a dressing gown wielding a towel.

Fry and Leela (Futurama)
Why does Leela love Fry? I don’t know: he’s an idiot who can barely count higher than ten. Why does Fry love Leela? Who the hell doesn’t love Leela?

Sawyer and Juliet (Lost)
It hurts me to type this but god they were the best couple ever. You fucked me over Lost, you really did, you stole my life, made me get up early in the morning to watch pirated episodes covered in Turkish subtitles, and you let me DOWN, but you gave me these two, and that almost makes it worthwhile.

Jessica and Hoyt (True Blood)
THEY ARE SO FREAKING CUTE. WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE? WHY CAN’T THEY BE REAL? WHY DO THEY MAKE ME WANT TO SHOUT ALL THE TIME?

Trent and Daria (Daria)
Trent + Daria = Everything that is right with the world and more specifically with the 90s

HBIC Go Back In Time

vanessa — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:53:06 +0000

This week I thought we could slip back in time and forget about the summer slowly drifting away, and instead focus on some stellar couples from the past. Everything was better in the past, men had manners, women wore restrictive garments, civil rights were non-existent, rubbish could be gleefully thrown on the ground, and legally you could beat a child to within an inch of it’s life. Good times….

Bobby Darin, Connie Francis, and Ed Sullivan squeezing in on the act.
While they were only a couple very briefly, and Darin went on to marry the amazing Sandra Dee, there is something about this Italian-American couple that makes me wish they’d stuck it out; after all Francis later said that breaking up with Darin was the biggest regret of her life.
A video of their smashing Ed Sullivan performance can be found here.

Sylvie Vartan and Johnny Hallyday
Sylvie Vartan is cool enough to make up for what appears to be a tasseled snakeskin t-shirt and a mullet. Shame on you Johnny, shame on you.
If you think you would like the look of them more if they were a bit less 70s and a bit more chic, or have ever wondered what French rock-a-billy would sound like then go here.

Bebe Buell and Stiv Bator
I have no idea if these two lasted a kiss, a night, or ten years, but anyone the girl crowned 1974′s Miss November got involved with was a stone cold super fox. Except Todd Rundgren.

Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor
If I could step into this photo now and take Elizabeth Taylor’s place I’d die happy.

Johnny Thunders and Sable Starr
Possibly the most underrated but awesome groupie of all time Sable Starr was Thunders’ main squeeze. However this picture is simply a not so subtle excuse to tell you all about how Sable once dyed her pubes green and floated on her back in a pool trying to coerce people into sleeping with her. It may or may not have worked, that part was never quite clear.

HBIC Do It Better

vanessa — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 12:20:22 +0000

There has been way too much relationship drama this week in Celebville (Peter Crouch! Fantasia! Rachel Bilson!) so let’s settle in with some couples who are chilling out, relaxing, maxing out cool, shooting some b-ball outside the…. ahem. Sorry about that – let’s just bring on the cute couples shall we?

Rihanna and Matt Kemp.
While missus here looks like she dressed entirely in Hot Topic (Manic Panic anyone?) I’m loving the totally blasé look on her boyfriend’s face.

Swizz Beats and Alicia Keys on honeymoon aboard a yacht in France
I know I know, they’re cheating scumbags (and if you don’t know go here) but I have a strange weakness for their skeezy coupledom. Also why the fuck is everyone on a yacht right now? Where was my invite?

Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas
Whenever I see a Jonas brother dating someone all I can hear in my head is ‘Do it, do it, do it, do it’.

Lamar Odom and Khloé Kardashian at the Teen Choice Awards
Their matching facial expressions are the entire reason I posted this: HOW FUCKING CREEPY ARE THEY?

Alex Carapetis and Ke$ha at Lollapalloza
If I didn’t know that Carapetis was already a skeezy looking rocker type before he met Ke$ha I’d think that she cloned him from a strand of Axl Rose’s armpit hair.

See? True happiness is possible! Whether its with a guy who thinks putting a tie on an un-tucked casual shirt means dressing up, or with a man who left his wife to knock you up – it is out there for you so don’t stop believing!

Photos from Just Jared, The Sun, Sky Showbiz, and Necole Bitchie.

HBIC on the move!

vanessa — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:06:07 +0000

While the weather has been patchy in London in Celebville it’s been sun, sea, sand and hopefully sangria! Let’s see who’s snogging who shall we?

Jude Law and Sienna Miller getting frisky on holiday.
Ok so Jude was/is a skeezy cheater and that’s a terrible, terrible thing, but the look at them now they’re back together! SO EFFING HOT!

Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy.
Even though Muse are worse than listening to someone take a shit in the cubicle next to me, the fact that Bellamy is in a relationship with serial shagger Hudson is fucking bizarre. What do they talk about? Where do they go? Why do I care?

Jason Trawick and Britney Spears.
Look how 100% ordinary they are! It’s perfect!

Above: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake
Below: Russell Brand and Katy Perry
As an avid cyclist seeing couples on bikes makes me so excited and gooey inside. Also I used to have an enormous crush on Timberlake and I’m sure I once kissed a poster of him goodnight. Ahem.

Oh celebs, I wish we could all be as loved up and beautiful as you!

HBIC in the sun.

vanessa — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 13:54:08 +0000

The glorious sunshine has brought celebs out of their houses and into the sunshine for us to gawp and coo at. Yay!

Anne Hathaway and Adam Shulman in a town, somewhere, who knows, probably in California, kissing.

Rick Fox and Eliza Dushku (who can do no wrong in my eyes) after competing in a triathlon. They even held hands for part of it!

Freja Beha and Abbey Lee Kershaw shooting the new Chanel campaign. If these two are really really going out then my heart might explode with joy.

This is so adorbs, I want to hop on the back and go with Pink and her husband Carey Hart, wherever they’re going, I really don’t care.

If this sort of cuteness carries on from Spring to Summer I think I might have to go into hibernation early!

Pictures from ONTD and Jezebel.

HBIC and co!

vanessa — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 09:18:05 +0000

Happy Wednesday! Here are some super cute couples being, well, super cute! Ready? Set? START SQUEEING!!

Helena Bonham-Carter and Tim Burton (wearing his newly awarded Officer of the Order of Arts and Letters pin)

Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys at the Gotham Magazine annual gala

I have to tell you how much I love Swizz’s twitter. It is a constant source of amusement.

Alexander Skarsgård and Kate Bosworth in LA

Ok so it’s a rumour, but I can’t decide if I’m heartbroken, or really pleased….

Oh the adorableness!! I think I’m going to have to have a cup of tea to calm down now.

HBIC and Their Other Halves

vanessa — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:23:58 +0000

Yay! It’s Friday! Time to start gradually slacking off in preparation for the weekend… why not start with some adorbs pictures of celeb couples looking way too cute for their own good? It works for me! Maybe it’s the suit/snazzy dress combos but each one made me squee uncontrollably.

Geoffrey Arend and Christina Hendricks at Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Award Party

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden at the same party (lalala I can’t see you Miley)

Michelle and Barack Obama at The Governor’s Ball

So… much…. cuteness! I think I need to go have a lie down now.