Category Archives: Relationships

It’s Like My Heart Is Getting Hard

By vanessa | Published: December 2, 2011

Only a few weeks ago I was talking about how awesome it is to date a handful of people at once. I extolled the virtues of flitting from one tangle to another, and now here I am, about to tell you all that, well, I’m not dating anyone. I’m not fucking anyone. I haven’t even [...]

Posted in Relationships | 3 Comments

I’m Shopping For Blood

By vanessa | Published: November 18, 2011

Some of you may have noticed I am prone to hyperbole. When I said that someone fingerbanged me for seven hours, it may have been only three. Equally I do not really think E. Jean Carroll is a lush. So when I said that I saw someone ‘wearing a checked 3 piece vintage suit, and [...]

Also posted in Fantasy, Meeting People | 9 Comments

How Not To Get Dumped

By vanessa | Published: September 26, 2011

The last time I got dumped I knew it was coming. My boyfriend and I had been dating for more than a year and we were thinking of moving in together. Life was, I thought, pretty good. In the past we had broken up twice: once for an afternoon and once for a week. Even [...]

Also posted in Not So Sexy Times | 1 Comment

Dialling Under The Influence

By vanessa | Published: September 21, 2011

What with all the hand-wringing, over-thinking, and typing propped up in bed which is giving me a really sore elbow, sometimes I just need to cut loose. While most of the time I can do that sanely and responsibly there is a two week period of each year where I just can’t. A couple of years ago [...]

Posted in Relationships | 4 Comments

Love, You’re A Whore

By vanessa | Published: September 10, 2011

Maddalena: I love you Marcello. I want to be your wife. Be faithful. I want it all: to be your wife, and enjoy myself like a whore. Marcello: Tonight, I don’t know why, I felt like I loved you, like I needed you. Maddalena: Really? Marcello: Really. I’m not sure if you’re being serious tonight, or playing games with [...]

Also posted in Meeting People, Sexy Times | Leave a comment

Would You Love Me In A Bentley? Could You Love Me On A Bus?

By vanessa | Published: August 29, 2011

“Did you miss me?” That question. That huge, stupid, stinking question. The one you throw out into the air and watch fall, flat on the ground every bloody time. I asked someone it the other day. And not with an Elizabeth Taylor cocked eyebrow but earnestly, really wanting to know the answer. And what can [...]

Also posted in Questions | 1 Comment

And I Don’t Want To Live This Life

By vanessa | Published: August 8, 2011

When I am in crush with someone, when I’m in that delicious getting to know you phase where everything’s sunny and happy and even tramping through the rain with a hangover feels magical and fresh and new, there is always a side of me that is pulling away from the exciting feeling. There’s a bit [...]

Also posted in Not So Sexy Times | 3 Comments

I Kissed A Girl And I Fucking Loved It

By vanessa | Published: August 1, 2011

At the age of 17 I walked into my local Wetherspoons, sat down next to my friends, put my hands down on the table, took a deep breath, and said “I need to tell you all something.” They went silent. I took another deep breath, “I’m bi.” There was a pause. Then another pause. Then [...]

Also posted in Sexy Times | Leave a comment

Burning Bridges

By vanessa | Published: July 19, 2011

In the summer of 2005 I moved to Mexico and taught a bunch of bratty rich kids English in a school run by a rich hippie. In the absence of a social life I got super into Livejournal and in particular a community called j__rn_l which showed scans of people’s diaries. In awe of their [...]

Also posted in Not So Sexy Times | 4 Comments

Everyone You’ve Ever Slept With

By vanessa | Published: July 15, 2011

Apparently somewhere in the world there are men who like their women to be virgins. Though I’ve never met any of these men myself, I can in a way see their reasoning. When you date someone they bring their whole world with them, a cavalcade of one night stands, drunken fumbles, and obsessive crushes, not [...]

Also posted in Dates, Multiple Dating, Not So Sexy Times | 2 Comments