Category Archives: Relationships

Everyone You’ve Ever Slept With

By vanessa | Published: July 15, 2011

Apparently somewhere in the world there are men who like their women to be virgins. Though I’ve never met any of these men myself, I can in a way see their reasoning. When you date someone they bring their whole world with them, a cavalcade of one night stands, drunken fumbles, and obsessive crushes, not [...]

Also posted in Dates, Multiple Dating, Not So Sexy Times | 2 Comments

Romantic Rights Are All That You’ve Got

By vanessa | Published: July 12, 2011

When I was 18 I thought the most romantic thing ever was listening to Weezer in bed with my teenage boyfriend, and maybe if I was lucky, smoking a fag out of the window. I was about as blissfully happy as I think I’ve ever been in those snatched moments, happy because the whole world [...]

Posted in Relationships | 6 Comments

Why Don Draper Is My Spirit Animal.

By vanessa | Published: May 7, 2011

Last night I got stood up. Sparing you the boring details, it meant I found myself in East London, in a pair of platforms and a nice blouse, seething with anger at about 11pm, and with no-one to take it out on. At first I thought I would walk it off, which is my normal [...]

Also posted in Dates, Not So Sexy Times | 3 Comments

That Was Then, This Is Dumb.

By vanessa | Published: March 31, 2011

There are many things I’d like to chalk up to the foolishness of youth: dying my hair Andy Warhol blonde, developing a taste for MDMA, enjoying The Killers, wearing skirts as dresses; we all do silly things when our heads are full of hot air and weed. However there is one thing that is slightly [...]

Also posted in Meeting People, Not So Sexy Times | Leave a comment

A Toast To The Douchebags.

By vanessa | Published: March 1, 2011

Since the age of 18 I have managed to hold down 4 year long relationships. Written down, that looks pretty good, I mean that’s the better part of ten years leaving me single for only 2/3rds of my adult life. Out of those 4 relationships I’d say 3 were cruddy and one was pretty fucking [...]

Also posted in Not So Sexy Times, Questions | 9 Comments

Fuck Valentine’s Day.

By vanessa | Published: February 14, 2011

Seriously. Fuck it. If you need a Clinton Cards sponsored day to tell someone else you love them then there’s something wrong with you. Buy your flowers, trinkets, heart shaped caramel centred chocolates, and engagement rings all you want – you’re being held down by the man and his bullshit! Look there’s only two ways [...]

Also posted in Dates, Sexy Times | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Love On The Dole

By vanessa | Published: February 8, 2011

For the last year or so I have been in rather straightened circumstances, living in a rather mawkish hand to mouth manner, something I did not think I’d be doing at the age of 27. Hell, I thought by now I’d be putting down the deposit on my holiday home in France and bashing out [...]

Also posted in Not So Sexy Times | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

It’s Not Complicated: It’s Shitty.

By vanessa | Published: January 21, 2011

Have you ever seen someone’s status change from ‘In a Relationship’ to ‘It’s Complicated’? Do you too get that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach when you see it? Whenever that little red heart pops up on my feed I want to grab that person and shout “Run! Run while you still can!” [...]

Also posted in Advice, Not So Sexy Times | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

5 People You’ll Hate Yourself For Dating

By vanessa | Published: November 25, 2010

5. The one who won’t get away Problem: They called and called, you ignored them over and over again. There were times you had the opportunity to kiss each other, but you decided it was a bad move. Their teeth stink and their hair is greasy but they’re just so sweet and they really really [...]

Also posted in Advice, Dates, Not So Sexy Times, Online Dating, Sexy Times | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Love Is…

By vanessa | Published: September 3, 2010

Last night my boyfriend were at my house and I was trying to explain my mortifying habit of becoming so emotional that sometimes I cry when we’re together because I love him so much. It is beyond embarrassing, because in my head I think of myself as a cold as ice motherfucker and yet in [...]

Posted in Relationships | 1 Comment